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No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else’s draft.
- H. G. Wells
Well, it’s done! As of today I have finished my first novel… But wait! In all truth, the real work starts now. This first draft – and that’s all it is – is roughly 48,000 words long. The bare minimum is 60,000. Also, according to the size I will use (5.5″ x 8.5″) the book would only be 153 pages thick. I had envisioned around 300 pages to make it worth-while for the reader. It is time to add more substance.
My Favorite Short Story
Let me explain the process by referring to my favorite, yet unwritten, short story titled “The Duel”.
The German Version
First, there is what I call the German version, short, precise and to the point:
He saw him.
He shot him.
He left.
Not very satisfying, is it?
The English Non-Fiction Version
After reading a bunch of worthless books on the Irish Troubles, written by English journalists full of themselves, I have come up with the English non-fiction version:
It has been stipulated, the person, we will refer to as “A”, besides his detestable reflection, had demonstrated some abominable behavioral patterns prior to the confrontation with the subject we will refer to as “B”. One is reminded of the MKRF report – the findings of that report have also been adopted by the RTAK, an organization whose services have on occasion exploited by the British Defense Ministry, in 1999 – recognising spectacular similarities to the event in question. While bloodshed was not a preferred choice of reconciliation, it was nevertheless the most effective – as was substantiated by research activities at the UKIMA, the United Kingdom Institute for Military Absurdity in 2002. The elimination of “B” is widely considered a logical consequence of the conflict and it was accomplished in full accordance to the 1875 Treaty of Thurtherthon, Wales, which specifically outlaws coercive exercise during tea time.
If you are into this kind of style – without the humor, though – you may enjoy the following two excellent examples:
The Irish War: The Hidden Conflict between the IRA and British Intelligence by Tony Geraghty
Secret Hero: The Life and Mysterious Death of Captain Robert Nairac by John Parker
I consider reading – and consequently the writing – of either one of these books a terrible waste of time.
The American “Crime Noir” Version
Giordano Mozzarella took shelter from the falling rain at the corner of 5th and 6th Street. Once under his shelter he watched the New York rush hour traffic crawling by, waiting for his target to arrive. Mozzarella was not a handsome man. In fact, he had a face that only a mother could love. Unfortunate for Mozzarella, his mother didn’t love him. In an erratic decision earlier in her life she had refused to have more children who might turn out like him. He had tried hard to please her, but she still couldn’t find it in her heart to love him and he wondered why. Suddenly he recognized the man in a long trench coat walking towards his position next to “Yakov’s Butchery”. Mozzarella quickly took care of his running nose by pressing his finger on his left nostril, and forcefully pushing the gunk through the other into the falling rain. He checked his wrist watch, assuring it was past tea time. The Brits would have no reason to complain about his timing. Mozzarella was not a man of many words, maybe because he was mute, and when the man in the trench coat walked by him, he simply raised the 90 mm Glock and pulled the trigger. “Gotcha,” he thought. For several minutes he just stood there, watching the man die, then he checked his watch again and decided it was time to go home. Maybe this time his mother would be proud of him, now that he had killed the man from the Internal Revenue Service.
Needless to say that neither of these versions will be applied to my novel…
