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I vividly remember my last visit to Germany, especially the three hour car ride from the Frankfurt airport to Hannover, my final destination. On a stretch of roughly 200 miles I started counting the wind turbines along the Autobahn. I lost count at around 65 – It’s not easy counting at a speed of 100+ miles per hour (with a car that makes roughly 40 miles to the gallon).
I vividly remember my last visit to Germany, especially the three hour car ride from the Frankfurt airport to Hannover, my final destination. On a stretch of roughly 200 miles I started counting the wind turbines along the Autobahn. I lost count at around 65 – It’s not easy counting at a speed of 100+ miles per hour (with a car that makes roughly 40 miles to the gallon). The view of these modern windmills so close to the Autobahn is nothing short of majestic, and the demonstration for environmental protection in form of using alternative energy resources is impressive.
It makes you wonder why the United States, and New England in particular, is so reluctant to adopt alternative technologies to produce electricity. Think Teddy Kennedy, who didn’t like the idea of an obstructed view from the family compound on Cape Cod. The proposed wind turbines would be miles away from the shore, but nevertheless clearly visible. It seems to be fashionable and politically correct to support environmental protection, including alternative energy resources, as long as it does not interfere with your personal lifestyle, and that makes me think of the CAVE people.
If you follow my blabbering about the CAVE (= Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people of Greenfield, Massachusetts, you may also have seen my post The CAVE People of Greenfield, Mass. And The Wastewater Issue. In short terms, the town of Greenfield is still struggling with the plans of an already-approved biomass plant (i.e. producing electricity though burning wood, which is not a good example of environmental protection). In a recent development, the biomass plant business had offered to use and pay for the town’s wastewater, an idea that did not sit well with the CAVE people, an aggressive minority within Greenfield, who didn’t want the plant in the first place. A public vote, months after the biomass plant management had retracted their offer, turned out 84% against selling wastewater to anybody, bioplant or not.
If you shake your head in disbelief, and before I address the problem with the use of wind turbines, let me explain:
The CAVE (= Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people of Greenfield, Massachusetts are utterly allergic to changes of their established lifestyle, even if it involves the improvements of a modern society. The Greenfielder, at his heart, is a communist in so far that everybody is equal – with equal voting rights – but with a few ones more equal than the rest. This very aggressive minority (i.e. the CAVE people) is responsible for recent political decisions, including votes and elections, in the form of “If you are not with us, you are against the system, and that is now allowed.” – Politburo comes to mind. So, the Greenfielder is kind of a Soviet communist, including the economic incompetence. In addition, there is the fight against every intrusion of modern life improvements, almost to the degree of the Amish people. In all consequence, the Greenfielder is a Soviet-Communist-Amish people.
Above definition makes it easier to understand the CAVE people’s problem with the use of wind turbines. Don’t get me wrong, the CAVE people’s official opinion is that they approve of the use of alternative energy, unless, of course, it interferes with their established lifestyle. Also, according to official statements, CAVE people, pretending to be as politically correct as possible, are concerned about environmental protection. So, officially: Biomass plant bad! Alternative energy good!
The truth is, the CAVE people of Greenfield, Massachusetts live in poorly insulated houses. They waste staggering amounts of heating oil to keep the interior at somewhat decent temperatures during the harsh New England winters. They set the thermostat to 80 degrees Fahrenheit in order to maintain 70 degrees interior temperature. They use wood stoves, fireplaces, and pellet burners in the winter and pump polluted air unfiltered into the environment. The combined pollution of thousands of households in the neighborhood outperforms that of the bio power plant (with its stringent environmental requirements) several times. So much about environmental protection…
Now let’s think about a hypothetical scenario: Instead of a roughly 200 feet smokestack (the bioplant’s ultimate weapon to suffocate the entire population around Greenfield, Massachusetts) we install between four and eight electricity-producing wind turbines, all of them between 380 and 446 feet high, which would bring in additional tax revenues of roughly $200,000 per year to the town of Greenfield over a 30 year life span of the project.
My prediction is that the potential view of the turbines would enrage the CAVE people, and, while maintaining their image as an environmentally concerned society, they will, in their usual pattern, explore possible problems. Any problem will do, as long as it serves the purpose of preventing the intrusion.
First, we go with the ever popular traffic pattern problem. The project would require building an access road 30 feet wide to bring the turbine components to the site. Here we go! Big diesel trucks congesting traffic and polluting the environment! Remember the times when we sent off our kids to walk to school? That’s not possible anymore. (In truth, the kids went to private schools and we drove them, of course.)
Yes, we all support green energy, but is it worth to destroy our landscape and our way of life? Maybe we should convert the proposed site into a wildlife area. And what about the noise? What about wildlife, i.e. birds and bats? Maybe it would be better if people in the area started reducing their greenhouse gas emissions – I’m sure every house owner in the area can afford the tax-deductible $30,000+ to install solar energy.
And, no, we don’t have any intention looking at similar facilities in New Hampshire. This is a local problem after all.
My take is, I am looking forward to such a possible scenario and observe the CAVE people of Greenfield, Massachusetts at their best: Keeping economical progress away from Greenfield, Massachusetts.
For the record, I do not support the biomass plant. I simple observe what I call the CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people, and their disturbing degree of aggressiveness when it comes to dealing with opposite opinions. That’s where the thought of politburo came to mind.
Yesterday morning at around 7:00 am my three-year-old son – who woke us at 6:00 am – pulled me away from my computer screen and put me into time-out after I refused to play with his trucks before my first cup of tea. Well, I got away unharmed after explaining it was Father’s Day after all, and that I had to write a few responses to some CAVE (= Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people who had responded to my post The CAVE People of Greenfield, Mass. And The Wastewater Issue.
I was somewhat surprised by the sudden popularity, especially since the post is almost two weeks old. My website receives decent attention from all over the world, mainly the United States, but hardly ever from Greenfield, Massachusetts, or better, Franklin County. Yesterday’s responses were mostly not in favor of my view, but, nevertheless, fair. The only room for improvement I see is that people, before responding, should read my postings more carefully.
For the record, I do not support the biomass plant. I simply observe what I call the CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people, and their disturbing degree of aggressiveness when it comes to dealing with opposite opinions. That’s where the thought of politburo came to mind.
As I wrote, yesterday’s responses were pleasant and civil, and I responded in my usual style. This morning, however, I received a not-so-pleasant, aggressive, at times even insulting blog response by a person – Janet – for whom the shoe apparently fits. She wrote (excerpt): “Who do you suppose the CAVE people are? Who concentrates on one issue? Who is leaning back? What facts are being miscontrued. Name one, please.” (Note: The typos are not mine; I merely copied and pasted.) In all consequence, I don’t need to answer these questions, because, again, apparently the shoe fits. Let me just say that I don’t maintain an “offender” database, and I do read the local newspaper.
There was also a question as to why I moved to Greenfield (a personal decision that I don’t need to discuss), and the voter turnout in Germany. Apparently, Janet knows nothing about Germany.
Again, for the record, I was born and raised in Germany, but for the last 21 years I have lived in New England. I don’t make a case that everything in Germany is better than in the United States, or specifically Greenfield, Massachusetts. I did have the unique opportunity to take the best of two worlds, and my choice was to live in the United States of America. I am in the process of applying for American citizenship, and you will be able to read about the progress here on this website. My son Patrick was born at the Franklin Baystate Medical Center here in Greenfield, Massachusetts. I am a member of the Episcopal Church, and we go to the services of St. James on Federal Street, where I serve for the task force to create a new website for the church. I am also on the board for the Franklin County Community Meal Program (FCCMP), and my wife, who is also on the board, and I maintain the FCCMP website.
Like everybody who lives here, I do have the right, and I do take the opportunity, to observe life in Greenfield, Massachusetts. Coming from a foreign country may not only include a different view on things, but also a special knowledge. In the case of Germany let me say again (and every American citizen who visited Germany lately will confirm this), they push environmental protection to the maximum.
However, let’s focus back on the CAVE people, whose motivation of environmental protection I seriously doubt. Today it’s the environment, tomorrow it will be something else. Add to this the profound lack of dealing with opposite opinions. Eric Hoffer once said, rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength. Rudeness is one of the CAVE people’s attribute, and Janet’s response is a fine example. CAVE people push the freedom of speech to borderline oppression, and the vote-turnout on the non-existing wastewater issue was organized by the CAVE people by means of unfair representation of the facts.
Chris Collins, News Director at WHAI, once addressed the issue of motivation in The Recorder. Unfortunately, I didn’t keep the article, but I remember his take was that the management of the proposed bio plant facility always provided facts and honest responses, while the opponents claimed environmental concerns (for the biomass plant site as well as the proposed big-box store location), but were never present when it came to other projects with more potent impact on the environment.
Last, but not least, if you want to leave a response you are welcome to do so, whether you agree with me or not. My only request is to keep a professional tone.
And to all the CAVE people out there: Keep it coming! Show the world what you are.
I still wonder who at The Recorder allows Ben Clarke to continue his Rush-Limbaugh-wannabe tirades, and if someone will tell him that his humor is not funny in the least.
True humor is fun – it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and cut off. True humor has beneath it the understanding that we are all in this together.
- Hugh Prather
The line “Ben Clarke spent the past 10 years working as a speechwriter and political consultant in Washington, D.C. He has recently relocated back to Greenfield, where he works as a freelance writer.” garnishes the end of each article that Ben Clarke writes for The Recorder, a newspaper serving the people of Franklin County and the North Quabbin Region in Massachusetts.
As an unapologetic liberal let me translate the section He has recently relocated back to Greenfield, where he works as a freelance writer into After George 43 there was no more use for him in Washington D.C. Ben Clarke is a hardcore Republican, but, honestly, I won’t hold that against him. My wife is a registered Republican, and we haven’t killed each other yet. In fact, we’re doing very well.
My utterly unimportant blabbering is about his misguided sense of humor under the motto “If I can offense somebody, let’s do it.” He does it so eloquently, and he does it continuously.
On March 3, 2010 he wrote an article titled The Conservative Greenfielder’s Lament. Again, I will not address his political affiliation, but rather the remarks he deems to be humorous. Let me quote:
“I have always resented the liberal presumption of intolerance among conservatives – the notion that we huddle around campfires in endangered forests and seethe in our abhorrence of gays, ethnic minorities, illegal immigrants and France. Don’t get me wrong. I am not proposing we amend the Constitution and smuggle in an undocumented lesbian from Honduras to run for president. But I would at least hear her out. Assuming she could cook.”
In the meantime he wrote another article (which I, unfortunately, did not keep) about his childhood in which he joked about selling his brother’s kidney.
Today he addresses the oil spill situation in the Gulf of Mexico, lecturing us that BP stands for British Petrol (Duh!), and making some discriminative comments like “These guys are BRITISH.” Regardless, let’s have a look at another paragraph where he states:
“The only thing that we should focus on banning in America right now are romantic comedies starring Meryl Streep, referees in NBA basketball games, and tampon commercials.”
I still wonder who at The Recorder allows Ben Clarke to continue his Rush-Limbaugh-wannabe tirades, and if someone will tell him that his sense for humor is off. Maybe that is exactly the reason why he is not a speechwriter anymore.
Supplement June 17, 2010
Ben Clarke contacted me through this website, telling me that a friend had told him about this post, that he liked my blog, and to keep it coming. Ben, you continue your disturbing sense of humor, and I will definitely keep going. His remark also proves the point that the George-43-gang was – and apparently still is – out of touch with modern communication technologies. My wife googled Ben, and the only reference she could find was through my blog. Say thank you, Ben!
If you want to stay in business as a writer it is imperative to have a blog, and to verify the impact of your writing you put yourself on Google Alerts (i.e. you don’t need friends to keep you up to date). Last, but not least, as a truly professional writer you don’t use GMail. May I add that I am twenty-plus years older than Ben, but that’s merely biological, not mental.
Just a rhetorical situation: A business approaches you, offering to pick up your trash on a daily basis, and they want to pay you for it! What would your answer be? I personally would tell them to come a.s.a.p. Not so the CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people of Greenfield, Massachusetts!
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
- Sir William Osler
Just a rhetorical situation: A business approaches you, offering to pick up your trash on a daily basis, and they want to pay you for it! What would your answer be? I personally would tell them to come a.s.a.p. Not so the CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people of Greenfield, Massachusetts (a.k.a. the Greenfielder)!
As I wrote in a previous post, A Species Of Its Own: The Greenfielder, the Greenfielder is a Soviet-Communist-Amish people with their specific emotional responses that collide with common American sense, which also explains why they don’t want to be paid for their trash.
The general situation is as follows: There are plans to build a $250,000,000 bio power plant which is specifically designed to suffocate all of the population in Greenfield, Massachusetts. Well, the official purpose is to burn wood and create electricity, but the CAVE people will tell you otherwise. In a recent development the bio plant people offered the town of Greenfield, which is continually struggling with all kinds of budgetary problems, to take the town’s treated wastewater and use it for cooling, and they offered to pay for it. A by-product of the cooling process would be warm water that could be used to heat businesses and other buildings in the neighborhood.
Selling wastewater to a business, whose sole purpose is to destroy the environment, did not sit well with the CAVE people. As a result there is a vote on the wastewater issue today. These days you see the signs on many properties saying, “Selling Wastewater? Vote NO on 1,2, 3″ (Question 1 addresses selling wastewater to anyone, questions 2 and 3 address specifically the bio plant’s offer). The “NO” campaign is organized by the CAVE people, a loud and disturbingly aggressive minority within the town of Greenfield. They may be a minority, but they do run the political life here (Again, politburo comes to mind). They need only 3,000 nay sayers to succeed.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not making a case pro or contra the bio plant; actually, I don’t care either way. I did cringe at the idea of burning wood to produce electricity, which I thought to be highly inefficient, and that should put me on the side of the nay sayers. I am, however, annoyed by the CAVE people’s aggressiveness and their continued problem with telling the truth.
To make things worse – and here we are getting closer to the life in Leonard Wibberly’s Duchy of Grand Fenwick - the vote is worthless since the bio plant people had withdrawn their offer months ago. Still, the vote is on, causing the town yet more expenses.
Now, let’s briefly address the environmental issue. Timothy Carroll, M.D., Ph.D., a Greenfield resident, wrote his opinion in the Greenfield Recorder (June 7, 2010) , titled Can Vt. be that wrong? A biomass plant could work here. In his article he points to one of the most environmentally sensitive states in the US, namely our neighbor to the North, Vermont. In contrast to the emotionally tainted opinion here in Greenfield, Vermont welcomes bio plants with enthusiasm. Well, they also run the Yankee Nuclear Power Plant (About 30 miles North of Greenfield), a facility that is continually plagued with all kinds of technical problems, but leaking nuclear waste into the environment seems to be acceptable in Vermont and nearby Greenfield, Massachusetts.
Nevertheless, Timothy Carroll makes a compelling case for the biomass plant by dismissing all environmental concerns and proving his case with experiences made in Burlington, Vermont. He does, however, miss the point by several miles. The point is not environmental concern. This is yet another lie. What it all boils down to is that the CAVE people of Greenfield are extremely allergic to drastic changes in their lifestyle, and the thought of a $250,000,000 power plant in their immediate neighborhood was just too much. In all consequence, they use any means possible to prevent the bio plant, including lies and deceit. That’s what they’re good at.
The truth is, the CAVE people of Greenfield, Massachusetts live in poorly insulated houses. They waste staggering amounts of heating oil to keep the interior at somewhat decent temperatures during the harsh New England winters. They set the thermostat to 80 degrees Fahrenheit in order to maintain 70 degrees interior temperature. They use wood stoves, fireplaces, and pellet burners in the winter and pump polluted air unfiltered into the environment. The combined pollution of thousands of households in the neighborhood outperforms that of the bio power plant (with its stringent environmental requirements) several times. The CAVE people of Greenfield are only concerned about the environment when it comes to prevent a bio power plant or a big box store (Devil, Thy name is Walmart). Otherwise, their track record shows they don’t give a damn.
Supplement June 9, 2010
Today’s headline is Greenfield voters say ‘no’ to effluent sale – Questions 1, 2 and 3 lose by 6 – 1 margin.
Source: The Recorder, Serving the people of Franklin County and the North Quabbin Region
Back in the 1930′s President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in an effort to end the current recession, initiated actions to provide modern comforts of electricity to millions of households all over the United States. The fastest and most economical solution at the time was the use of wood, and the impact of FDR’s initiative is still visible in form of the familiar electricity posts that decorate streets all over the country.
Back in the 1930′s President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in an effort to end the current recession, initiated actions to provide modern comforts of electricity to millions of households all over the United States. The fastest and most economical solution at the time was the use of wood, and the impact of FDR’s initiative is still visible in form of the familiar electricity posts that decorate streets all over the country.
More than 70 years later the only improvement of the current power distribution system seems to be the addition of telephone lines and, in recent years, cables for the world wide web.
All those comforts of modern life like electricity, telephone, and Internet connection have become an integral part of our life that we tend to ignore the dependency that comes with it. A sore reminder came with a recent savage storm toppling huge trees like they were toys and knocking out power to thousands (including yours truly) in the neighborhood. All in all, we lived without electricity for two full days.
Dealing without electricity was only a small challenge. After all, we have a gas stove and sufficient supply of candles and flashlights. On the other hand we lost all food in the refrigerator and the freezer.
More devastating for me personally (and my wife as well) was the absence of an Internet connection. It was a blogger’s nightmare! All the power backup devices we have installed last only for a few hours, and our cable connection was gone as well. On top of that our cellphones worked only part-time (See also my post AT&T Reaches 99% Of All Voice-Mailboxes).
All this makes you wonder about the technological advantages in the year 2010. All modern technology will fail when it is based on a distribution system that hasn’t significantly improved during the last 70 years. In our case we are dealing with Western Mass Electric Company (WMECO), a company that, like many others, is either not able or not willing to invest into a more reliable system. They rather deal with the occasional disasters one by one. In their view that seems to be the most economical solution. I doubt, however, they compared the benefit of a more reliable system against the unpredictable costs of a disaster clean-up (the same seems to be true for the oil spill situation in the Gulf of Mexico), not mentioning the monetary damage to the people who depend on their services.
This is just how Corporate America works. Profit counts more than human life or the environment that human life so heavily depends on.
Fast-Moving Storm Savages County; Thousands Lose Electricity
THE RECORDER – Serving the people of Franklin County and the North Quabbin Region
Excerpt from the May 28, 2010 article
GREENFIELD – A huge thunderstorm – powered by record-breaking heat – ravaged Greenfield and other parts of Franklin County, toppling huge trees like playthings and knocking out power to thousands who may not see it fully restored for days.
Crews worked throughout Thursday to clear hundreds of trees that had fallen on power lines, homes, cars, and streets.
Storm damage was strewn all over the county, with public works crews, firefighters, police, and utility crews working throughout the night and into Thursday to clean up downed trees, poles, and utility lines. About 30,000 customers lost power in 15 minutes.
A state of emergency was declared in several Franklin County towns Wednesday night and residents of Greenfield were asked to stay home during the day on Thursday.
By 8 p.m. on Thursday, 11,752 WMECO customers in Franklin County were without power, including 4,131 in Montague and 2,328 in Greenfield.
I just discussed an article printed in the local newspaper, The Recorder, with my wife. She had kept it for me to read and was interested in my opinion about it. Before I share my – utterly unimportant – opinion, let me quote from the article (March 3, 2010) titled A Conservative’s Lament by Ben Clarke.
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
- Lester B. Pearson
I just discussed an article printed in the local newspaper, The Recorder, with my wife. She had kept it for me to read and was interested in my opinion about it. Before I share my – utterly unimportant – opinion, let me quote from the article (March 3, 2010) titled A Conservative’s Lament by Ben Clarke. The first two paragraphs read:
“I have always resented the liberal presumption of intolerance among conservatives – the notion that we huddle around campfires in endangered forests and seethe in our abhorrence of gays, ethnic minorities, illegal immigrants and France.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not proposing we amend the Constitution and smuggle in an undocumented lesbian from Honduras to run for president. But I would at least hear her out. Assuming she could cook.
…Ben Clarke spent the past 10 years working as a speechwriter and political consultant in Washington, D.C. He has recently relocated back to Greenfield, where he works as a freelance writer.” (Meaning, after George 43 there was no more job for him.)
Okay… Assuming she could cook. I am still not sure whether he was joking or not, and if he thought he was joking, maybe he should think twice about his writing. My analysis, leaving that last degrading comment unanswered for the moment, is that Ben Clarke is as divisive as the rest of hardcore conservatives he accuses as being out of touch with reality. What I didn’t like in his article was the touch of aggressiveness against everything and everybody who is not on his side, especially the utter hatred pointed against liberals. Regardless of my personal political affiliation, I despise radicals, may they be left or right, and Ben Clarke is apparently one of them. I am always shocked when I hear of young people hanging on to old ideas that reflect an utter incompetence to learn from experience.
Ben Clarke, as far as I know (his mother, my wife, and I are on the board of the Franklin County Community Meal Program), was born and raised here in Greenfield, and he reflects an attitude I see in many Greenfielders who are so vehemently opposed to changes in any shape or form. When the typical – in all regularity conservative – Greenfielder can’t have it his way, he comes up with lies. A comment like Assuming she could cook is written proof that Ben Clarke is out of touch with reality. His blabbering definitely strengthens the theory that liberals are more intelligent than conservatives.
P.S. Let’s see if Ben Clarke has his name on Google Alerts…;-)
This morning my wife reminded me that as of last Monday the archery deer season had opened. She read the entry from the Sports section of our local newspaper (Yes, killing deer is considered a sport over here).
This morning my wife reminded me that as of last Monday the archery deer season had opened. She read the entry from the Sports section of our local newspaper (Yes, killing deer is considered a sport over here).
“And, yes, those camouflaged critters you’ve see entering and exiting the woods this week are indeed bowhunters coming and going from their stands. The archery deer season opened Monday and will close Nov. 21. The big bucks will start coming into the checking stations in two or three weeks, when they go into prime rut.”
Note the “you’ve see” in the above quote, which I did not correct, since it may be bowhunter talk, and I am not a bowhunter.
“Maybe I should go over to the hardware store,” I told my wife, “and buy a bow, and this afternoon I kill us some supper.”
“You need a license to do that,” she told me. “And you need to wear a camouflage suit.”
“Oh, my favorite color,” I grinned.
In my mind I saw myself, dressed in the mandatory olive green and black suit, going through the woods, bow in my hand, and my two year old son, also dressed in camouflage, by my side. What a joy it would be to teach him the virtue of killing deer with a bow. Then I asked myself what these virtues might be, and I couldn’t come up with any good reason.
Well, maybe we just read a good book. That’ll do.
The Greenfielder, at his heart, is a communist in so far that everybody is equal – with equal voting rights – but with a few ones more equal than the rest. Political decisions, including votes and elections, are made by a very active, aggressive minority in the form of “If you are not with us, you are against the system, and that is now allowed.” – Politburo comes to mind. So, the Greenfielder is kind of a Soviet communist. In addition, there is the fight against every intrusion of modern life improvements, almost to the degree of the Amish people.
The leaves fall, the wind blows, and the farm country slowly changes from the summer cottons into its winter wools.
- Henry Beston
This morning I told my wife about my plan to go into the backyard and split wood for use in our new wood stove. It is fall, not only in New England, and the nights are getting colder by the day. And there she stood, my little wife, tears starting to fill her eyes, wringing her hands, the little two-year-old clinging to her leg and watching Daddy with his big blue eyes.
“Is that really necessary, honey?” she asked, despair in her voice. “Isn’t that a bit drastic? You could hurt yourself.”
“A man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do, babe,” I said calmly. “I need to provide for my family.”
Well, in all truth, this is not how it happened. I can already hear my wife screaming “Bite me, pal!” when she reads this.
The truth is, this morning I went into my sixty-square-foot office, picked up my olive-green thermo-jacket and the green baseball hat indentifying me as Grumpy. We had bought it at Disneyworld some years ago. My wife had asked for a Prince Charming T-Shirt, but, amazingly, they didn’t have one. She settled for the I’m With Grumpy version.
There I stood, all dressed in green and equipped with my iPhone and earplugs.
“Don’t I look like the typical Greenfielder?” I asked my wife.
She looked at me briefly. “Almost,” she said. “The only thing missing are the rubber boots.”
“Oh, they’re waiting outside,” I told her.
“I will text you as soon as lunch is ready,” she said and turned away, probably to facebook all her friends, joking about her farmlife and that she had 9-1-1 on speed-dial.
Without jumping too far ahead, but I made it without major injuries, and I am looking forward to a warm and cozy evening, watching the flames flickering through the large glass door of the iron-cast wood stove. We had bought it last year in July when the heating oil prices were above five Dollars a gallon. We were happy to have found a handyman who would not only install the stove, but also take care of the bathroom ceiling that had collapsed while we were away for a business trip. I had paid the handyman 50% of the estimated total costs upfront, before he found out that he didn’t have the license to install a wood stove. Later I found out that, as a house owner, you don’t need a license in Greenfield, Massachusetts. Then he claimed he had endured an injury and that he was unable to give us a date when he would take care of the bathroom ceiling. It took almost a year and some major threatening to get our money back. The ceiling is still not repaired, but we found and hired a very capable specialist who did a great job installing the wood stove. The job was finished in January this year when the heating prices had fallen significantly, and we never came to try out the wood stove. The oil tank was and still is sufficiently filled, and we enjoyed a warm house for the rest of the cold season.
This winter, however, I swore we would save majorly by using our new wood stove. About two years ago, we had an oak tree cut from our property, because it grew only a few feet away from the house, and we actually preferred some sun light in the living room. Another oak tree simply collapsed during a major rain storm. It was polite enough to fall away from the house, but it did block the driveway and made it impossible to get the car out of the garage. That same day we had planned to see my in-laws, and we needed to cancel the visit. Oh, well.
So, here I was, armed with a maul and an iPhone, listening to Mick Fleetwood’s prefect drumming, wiggling my body to the rhythm, and loudly singing “I can still hear you saying, you would never break, never break the chain.” I would take a deep breath, close the eyes for a few seconds and concentrate. Then I would swiftly lift the mall and with a loud crush split the piece of wood in two, thinking that, next time, I should actually try to keep my eyes open.
Working on the more than three acres of our almost one-hundred-year-old farm is the perfect workout, and it teaches you to respect every farmer who gets up every single morning to work the land. I personally have only time after business hours or on the weekends, and even then, there are occasionally other, more important tasks that need my attention, a two-year-old being one of them. Another benefit of farm work is that it provides you a ton of time for meditation, and today, during my wood-cutting adventure, I had enough time at hand to think about the CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything) people of Greenfield, Massachusetts. My wife and I moved here about eight years ago, and it has been been an adventure since. We hardly watch any comedy shows on TV, we actually live in one.
Let me take you on a little detour to describe life in Greenfield, Massachusetts:
Many years ago, while still living in Germany, I learned the story of a small village somewhere in the countryside of England. The town council had determined they were in dire need of a new town hall. The old town hall, after being used for centuries, was not only in poor structural condition, but it also lacked the comforts of modern life we are so accustomed to, such as proper bathroom facilities.
The small size of the community also dictated that every villager demanded to be heard when it came to important decisions like building a new town hall. It does not come as a surprise that the population was divided into two camps, one opposing a new town hall, and the other approving it. The proponents emphasized the need for a safe and clean administrative building, while the opponents were either emotionally attached to the existing, old town hall, or were concerned about the financing of the project.
The town council, as divided as the rest of the population, finally came up with a decision that was intended to satisfy everybody:
- The decision was made to build a new town hall.
- The old town hall was to remain untouched, until the construction of the new town hall was finished.
- The material of the old town hall (bricks, posts, shingles, etc.) was to be used to erect the new town hall.
While the story of this little village puts a smile on your face, you wouldn’t expect it to be true, unless, of course, you live in New England. Who could imagine that you can live in an American equivalent of Leonard Wibberly’s Duchy of Grand Fenwick, or even that a Chevy Chase movie like Funny Farm was not based on mere fantasy, but careful observation.
To put it in a nut-shell, the town of Greenfield (population 17,000+) is mentally, and in many cases visibly, stuck in the 1950s. The typical Greenfielder (i.e. born and raised in Greenfield) is emphatically opposed to any changes that would interfere with his established lifestyle, even if it means hanging on to sub-standards, for instance, in medical care and fighting modern intrusions such as a big-box store.
In contrast, there is opposition to the Greenfielder’s lifestyle in form of more progressive Non-Greenfielders, who moved to town within the last 40 – 50 years, and who maintain an open mind to improvements that the rest of the United States already enjoys.
However, the line between Greenfielders and Non-Greenfielders is not as clear-cut these days, and there have been defections from one side to the other.
It is impossible to describe the Greenfielder in only few words. The Greenfielder, at his heart, is a communist in so far that everybody is equal – with equal voting rights – but with a few ones more equal than the rest. Political decisions, including votes and elections, are made by a very active, aggressive minority in the form of “If you are not with us, you are against the system, and that is not allowed.” – Politburo comes to mind. So, the Greenfielder is kind of a Soviet communist. In addition, there is the fight against every intrusion of modern life improvements, almost to the degree of the Amish people.
In all consequence, the Greenfielders are a Soviet-Communist-Amish people.
While I am per definition a Non-Greenfielder, I am nothing short of ecstatic about recent developments. In a stunning move, the Greenfielder has managed to get one of their own elected as mayor. The new mayor promised in public to learn his job while on the job, and he has already made some fine mistakes. For instance, he missed a timeline to prevent the building of a $250,000,000 wood-burning bio-plant specifically designed to suffocate the entire population. Well, he still has a chance to prevent the coming of the devil in form of a WalMart.
I am looking forward to all future twists and turns that will change my life to resemble that of the people of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.
If you have comments, or similar experiences, please feel free to post them right here on my blog by responding to this article.
Being A Successful Newspaper The Old-Fashioned Way
New York Times, Washington Post, and all other big newspapers all over the country struggling to survive the Internet boom, here is my ode to the Recorder, serving the people of Greenfield, Massachusetts and the North Quabbin region.
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach’s ‘St. Matthew’s Passion’ on a ukulele.
- Bagdikian’s Observation
We moved to Greenfield about eight years ago, totally unprepared for the cultural clash, but who could imagine that you can live in an American equivalent of Leonard Wibberly’s Duchy of Grand Fenwick, or even that a Chevy Chase movie like Funny Farm was not based on mere fantasy, but careful observation.
To put it in a nut-shell, the town of Greenfield (population 17,000+) is mentally, and in many cases visibly, stuck in the 1950s. The native Greenfielder (i.e. born and raised in Greenfield) is emphatically opposed to any changes that would interfere with his established lifestyle, even if it means hanging on to sub-standards, for instance, in medical care and fighting modern intrusions such as a big-box store (Oh Devil, Thy Name Is Walmart!). I frequently make it a point that The Greenfielder is a Soviet-Communist-Amish people – See my post A Species Of Its Own: The Greenfielder.
Maybe that is one of the reasons why The Recorder is still as successful as it is – at least there have been no news that they’re struggling. The Recorder has accumulated a large and stable list of followers, and I don’t expect that this will change in the near future. Their reporting is good, and keeps us up-to-date about what’s happening locally; National and international news are usually by Associated Press. Commentaries written by Chris Collins are a feast to read; those by Ben Clarke usually make me (and my wife) broil, and I can’t wait to get my hands on that keyboard for a flaming response to his offending humor – See my post Speechwriter Ben Clarke And His Offensive Humor.
And yes, The Recorder does have a website (http://www.recorder.com/), one of those amateurish throw-togethers that make you cringe and run for some TUMS. I always compare it to painting a car, because, believe it or not, everybody can paint a car. You take some oil paint and a big brush… You get the picture; it will not come out as a professional job, and The Recorder‘s website is a fine example.
But, in fact, it doesn’t matter. All those big newspapers around the country depend on top-notch websites these days in order to survive by creating additional income. It even goes so far that a highly regarded newspaper such as the Washington Post needs to sell advertisement space to known scammers, who are currently being investigated by the FBI and the Federal Trade Commission.
The online version of The Recorder is also designed to include ad space, but it is usually about playing golf in the Pioneer Valley, the hidden hills of Western Massachusetts, local TV listings, and the such. In the same spirit they can afford to post on their website:
Greenfield, Massachusetts may be mentally stuck in the 1950′s but their world is still in order when it comes to their local newspaper. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned; I just don’t know what it is.